DIARY | It tend to happen every 7 years, that itch for changes...
It happened to me when I was 28 year old, when I decided to leave Belgium and move to London to start a new life for myself, and then it happened when I was 35 years old and now... here I am, almost 42 and experiencing another existential crisis.
I have read that it is a scientific fact that our bodies and minds are changing every 7 years. Every seven years we become essentially new people, because in that time, every cell in our body has been replaced by a new cell.
The pandemic and self-quarantine has very likely been a triggering factor or perhaps enhanced something I might have already started a year ago... a midlife crisis!
Yes people...I really didn't see it coming, but time has caught up with me, and I recently came to realisation that I am no longer in my prime.
I woke up one day and POOF... I was in my forties.
I am telling you, when you become aware that you are half way there, you'll just freak out!
I know some of you might think this is ridiculous. When someone says midlife crisis, what comes in our mind is that cliché of middle-aged men with badly dyed hair in too-tight jeans driving sports cars to impress women half their age.
But here is the breaking news: midlife crisis happens to women too! However, women generally cope with it with in a classier way...(I think!)
Being on my own 24h/7 for the past 5 months has forced me to reflect on what I've achieved in my life and – more importantly – what I haven't and it goes without saying that I am not quite happy where I am at this point in my life.
Don't get me wrong, I still got a job that pays my bills, a tiny but lovely place to live and I am relatively healthy, so I have got nothing major to complain about. In the midst of this global pandemic, I am everyday counting my blessings and being very grateful for the things in my life.
But I have also got that weird and constant feeling of being stuck and not in harmony with who I want to be.
My social and love life sucks (and Covid-19 is not helping that obviously!), I have been gaining weight over the past few months and not feeling quite confident and happy with myself right now.
I am also going through such an emotional turmoil, questioning everything, giving myself strong evaluations about where I want to be in life versus where I am, wanting to eliminate those things and people that are no longer in sync with who you I want to become.
I want to get rid of what is no longer working in my life and introduce new people, places, and things that bring joy.
So I decided today to take the bull by the horns and start acting on it! To not let this "crisis" bring me down but use it as an opportunity to reinvent myself. To level up!
a shift is coming...
Lately, I have been asking myself, "What do I want to change?" and even though my first reaction was to say: everything...
Here are a few things I came up with:
I want more freedom and travel more.
I want to buy a flat in a near future
I want to accept my body and be confident with who I am.
I want to get healthy again and stop eating too much.
I want to make more money doing something I love.
I want to be in a loving relationship that inspires me.
I want to get out of my shell, go out more and make new friends.
Turn your midlife crisis to your own advantage by making it a time for renewal of your body and mind, rather than stand by helplessly and watch yourself decline.
I don't know how I am going to be able to work all of these goals in the midst of a pandemic, but I will obviously start with the areas of my life where I have got some sort of control over.
At the moment, it is quite challenging to travel, date or make new friends, but what I 'can' do is focus on me, taking care of myself and get back in shape.
I vowed to take massive actions in the coming days, weeks and months, start to live on purpose and keep myself accountable by writing about my transformation journey on this blog
This is going to be sooooo uncomfortable!
But being uncomfortable is part of the process I guess.... There is no major change without some sort of discomfort ... right?
bring on the forties!
Plan of attack
1. Get healthy and in shape!
Stopping with the bad habits, get my nutrition right, get fit and strong but most importantly be healthy and happy in my own skin.
2. Once in shape, reinventing my style and maybe get a new haircut!
3. Level up my lifestyle, my home. Focusing on quality rather than quantity
(And once Covid allows me to... )
4. Go back to my old hobbies: photography & artistic painting
5. Start a bucket list with all the things I always wanted to do but was too scared to do.
6. Working on my social and love life
Making some new friends!
This is one is going to be challenging as I have very little control on this. Making new friends after your forties can get tougher because most people already have their set friends or are busy with their own relationships. What I promise myself to do though, is to at least look for opportunities to meet new people, join a class of some sort, start a new hobby, or volunteer... doing something else than waiting at home hoping for it to happen!
Definitely raising my standards with dating!
so I am not reliving the same "car crash disaster" or "bad romance" over and over again!
Happiness should not come to a screeching halt when we turn 40!
So I will redefine 'midlife crisis' for myself and make the coming years the best decades of my life.